Oops! All secretly not-cats!
Jan. 24th, 2024 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
himejoshiheartWC: 1066
Snowshine woke up in a forest, as a… cat?
“Greetings.” A moose said, standing over her. “I am Nestor.”
“My name’s Snowshine.” She said, placing a paw to her cape. So she kept that? “Is Pinkberry here?” She looked around for their familiar pink coat, but to no avail.
“No, sadly.” Nestor sighed. “...I wish I never told the 7 Kingdoms how to send their kids to other worlds.”
“What?”
“Ah, right. It’s time for The Talk again.” Nestor sat down. “I suggest you sit too, Snowshine.”
Snowshine sat down, a bit shaky on her feet. The durian was no longer around her neck, she realized.
“You were never human.”
“...Huh. Why’s that?”
“Well, there were once seven major not-cat kingdoms.” Nestor said. “And seven royal lineages. One day, the five kings of the Amber kingdom came to me. They told me that the prophets were saying that all the kingdoms would fall. That gravity would reverse and everyone would be sent into the skies. They handed me their son and told me 'send him to the human world. any one of them. and make him turn into a human there but have him be sent back and healed when he's near death but have the time he's sent back to a time where not-cats are here safely again' and so I cast that weirdly specific spell on their son so that the royal bloodline could survive the literal fucking apocalypse. Anywyas everyone heard of it and soon all gave up their kids that if the Impact didn't come over and inverse gravity for 100 years they probably would have gotten extinct anywyas. that's why the portal to earth is in the sky btw I put it there so we survived the fucking apocalypse and never took it down”
"Was that son me?"
"no, you're the one who came from an interkingdom marriage and that's why your eyes are hazel instead of just brown or just green. the son in that story is oersted&"
"... Why are you suddenly speaking in lowercase? And why is there an &"
"lazy. and there's an & because for some reason he somehow became three people and also it's just how systems are referred to collectively"
"Ok, uh..."
"Anywyas here are your fellow not-cats that also came back." Nestor then gestured to a small group of not-cats. "And Narinder. he turned into a not-cat to stay here. He's the one with three eyes."
Narinder glared at Snowshine with 1.5x the glare strength of a regular not-cat.
"I'm Lamb!" A... wooly? cat said, a collar with a heart on it around their neck and a little vaguely cat-shaped black whatever it was on their head. "I'm why Narinder came to stay here!" As if on cue, a tiny kitten popped their head out from Lamb's wool.
Snowshine stared at the wool for a bit longer than normal.
"... There was a minor kingdom that was some sort of weird sheep cult where they were sheep hybrids or something, and they wanted their kid to be transformed into a sheep, and it was... a mess. I'm just glad Lamb escaped that... you don't want to know what would have happened to them." Nestor sweatdropped.
"I'm Sasha!" meowed out a blue cat. "And this is It! I got hit by a car trying to save a kid, and It died just trying to cross the street."
"Oh, are we sharing how we died?" Lamb asked. "An alternate version of Raccoon cut my stomach open with a magical ice sword!"
Narinder sweatdropped.
A brown not-cat that Snowshine could only guess was Raccoon chuckled. "I died because someone gave me poisoned tater tots like a dick. But now I can make all the tater tots I want here!"
A blond not-cat with a bandana wrapped around his neck took a second to clear his throat, before saying it plainly. "My handler beat me to death with a potato."
"Oh, uh..." Snowshine stammered. "That sucks. I got possessed by a powerful Shade."
Two brown cats that looked physically identical, if not for the accessories they wore, jumped into the scene.
"I gave my life for my friends." Said the one with a spiked collar around their neck.
"I teased someone and they were wayyyy too fragile about it!" The other cat pouted, a bow on their ear. "Seriously! What, some guy comes and pisses you off and you murder him for it? Rude!"
"... Where is Oersted&?" Nestor asked.
"Oh, he's on his way!" Raccoon smiled. "Said he'd bring tater tots!"
"CHOO CHOO!" A second blond cat yelled, balancing a box on his head. "Raccoon Tater Tots Delivery!"
"Yay!" Raccoon then snatched up the box and enjoyed her snack.
"Greetings, Duskie, this is Snowshine."
"Hello, Snowshine! How are you?" Duskie asked.
"Just died and now I'm a cat and everyone's hitting me with this stuff about seven kingdoms and potatoes." Snowshine chuckled. "Could be worse. I could be a zebra. Cats are cute. I just wish Pinkberry was here."
Nestor sat still for a moment. "... Don't tell Snowsparkle this, because I don't know where to find the dead boy's soul, but I know a spell that would drag their soul here to be incarnated as a not-cat upon their death. Also would give them sapience if they're a non-sapient creature like a dog or someshit"
Snowshine gasped! "How could you say that about dogs?! One time a dog with the floppest of ears-"
"Oh , you're from one of those furry universes like Lamb is."
Snowshine stared at Nestor, opened her mouth, closed it, and then stood perfectly still.
"Were there humans there, or were you some weird hairless thing to them?"
"There were."
"PHEW. Anywyas, here's the spell." Nestor then closed his eyes and focused really hard. "yep there they are. pinkberry."
Everything got rainbows and then Pinkberry just shifted into existence but as a not-cat.
"Pinkberry!" Snowshine ran towards them, but those goddamn motor issues got in the way and made her trip and fall down flat on their face.
Just then, another not-cat that was sent to another world appeared.
"Oh fuck, it's the bean who came from that 7-Bloodline orgy who has the blood of EVERY major kingdom. somehow."
Princess Sparklesapphire, whose eyes changed color like a screensaver of sorts, looked at every not-cat with the eyes of a-
Narinder smited her on the spot. "ONE KING ONLY."
Snowshine woke up in a forest, as a… cat?
“Greetings.” A moose said, standing over her. “I am Nestor.”
“My name’s Snowshine.” She said, placing a paw to her cape. So she kept that? “Is Pinkberry here?” She looked around for their familiar pink coat, but to no avail.
“No, sadly.” Nestor sighed. “...I wish I never told the 7 Kingdoms how to send their kids to other worlds.”
“What?”
“Ah, right. It’s time for The Talk again.” Nestor sat down. “I suggest you sit too, Snowshine.”
Snowshine sat down, a bit shaky on her feet. The durian was no longer around her neck, she realized.
“You were never human.”
“...Huh. Why’s that?”
“Well, there were once seven major not-cat kingdoms.” Nestor said. “And seven royal lineages. One day, the five kings of the Amber kingdom came to me. They told me that the prophets were saying that all the kingdoms would fall. That gravity would reverse and everyone would be sent into the skies. They handed me their son and told me 'send him to the human world. any one of them. and make him turn into a human there but have him be sent back and healed when he's near death but have the time he's sent back to a time where not-cats are here safely again' and so I cast that weirdly specific spell on their son so that the royal bloodline could survive the literal fucking apocalypse. Anywyas everyone heard of it and soon all gave up their kids that if the Impact didn't come over and inverse gravity for 100 years they probably would have gotten extinct anywyas. that's why the portal to earth is in the sky btw I put it there so we survived the fucking apocalypse and never took it down”
"Was that son me?"
"no, you're the one who came from an interkingdom marriage and that's why your eyes are hazel instead of just brown or just green. the son in that story is oersted&"
"... Why are you suddenly speaking in lowercase? And why is there an &"
"lazy. and there's an & because for some reason he somehow became three people and also it's just how systems are referred to collectively"
"Ok, uh..."
"Anywyas here are your fellow not-cats that also came back." Nestor then gestured to a small group of not-cats. "And Narinder. he turned into a not-cat to stay here. He's the one with three eyes."
Narinder glared at Snowshine with 1.5x the glare strength of a regular not-cat.
"I'm Lamb!" A... wooly? cat said, a collar with a heart on it around their neck and a little vaguely cat-shaped black whatever it was on their head. "I'm why Narinder came to stay here!" As if on cue, a tiny kitten popped their head out from Lamb's wool.
Snowshine stared at the wool for a bit longer than normal.
"... There was a minor kingdom that was some sort of weird sheep cult where they were sheep hybrids or something, and they wanted their kid to be transformed into a sheep, and it was... a mess. I'm just glad Lamb escaped that... you don't want to know what would have happened to them." Nestor sweatdropped.
"I'm Sasha!" meowed out a blue cat. "And this is It! I got hit by a car trying to save a kid, and It died just trying to cross the street."
"Oh, are we sharing how we died?" Lamb asked. "An alternate version of Raccoon cut my stomach open with a magical ice sword!"
Narinder sweatdropped.
A brown not-cat that Snowshine could only guess was Raccoon chuckled. "I died because someone gave me poisoned tater tots like a dick. But now I can make all the tater tots I want here!"
A blond not-cat with a bandana wrapped around his neck took a second to clear his throat, before saying it plainly. "My handler beat me to death with a potato."
"Oh, uh..." Snowshine stammered. "That sucks. I got possessed by a powerful Shade."
Two brown cats that looked physically identical, if not for the accessories they wore, jumped into the scene.
"I gave my life for my friends." Said the one with a spiked collar around their neck.
"I teased someone and they were wayyyy too fragile about it!" The other cat pouted, a bow on their ear. "Seriously! What, some guy comes and pisses you off and you murder him for it? Rude!"
"... Where is Oersted&?" Nestor asked.
"Oh, he's on his way!" Raccoon smiled. "Said he'd bring tater tots!"
"CHOO CHOO!" A second blond cat yelled, balancing a box on his head. "Raccoon Tater Tots Delivery!"
"Yay!" Raccoon then snatched up the box and enjoyed her snack.
"Greetings, Duskie, this is Snowshine."
"Hello, Snowshine! How are you?" Duskie asked.
"Just died and now I'm a cat and everyone's hitting me with this stuff about seven kingdoms and potatoes." Snowshine chuckled. "Could be worse. I could be a zebra. Cats are cute. I just wish Pinkberry was here."
Nestor sat still for a moment. "... Don't tell Snowsparkle this, because I don't know where to find the dead boy's soul, but I know a spell that would drag their soul here to be incarnated as a not-cat upon their death. Also would give them sapience if they're a non-sapient creature like a dog or someshit"
Snowshine gasped! "How could you say that about dogs?! One time a dog with the floppest of ears-"
"Oh , you're from one of those furry universes like Lamb is."
Snowshine stared at Nestor, opened her mouth, closed it, and then stood perfectly still.
"Were there humans there, or were you some weird hairless thing to them?"
"There were."
"PHEW. Anywyas, here's the spell." Nestor then closed his eyes and focused really hard. "yep there they are. pinkberry."
Everything got rainbows and then Pinkberry just shifted into existence but as a not-cat.
"Pinkberry!" Snowshine ran towards them, but those goddamn motor issues got in the way and made her trip and fall down flat on their face.
Just then, another not-cat that was sent to another world appeared.
"Oh fuck, it's the bean who came from that 7-Bloodline orgy who has the blood of EVERY major kingdom. somehow."
Princess Sparklesapphire, whose eyes changed color like a screensaver of sorts, looked at every not-cat with the eyes of a-
Narinder smited her on the spot. "ONE KING ONLY."
